In limbo

Who am I? Alone but not alone. Down but ever growing. Feeling spontaneous and yet very much supressed. Mixing rum with juiced pineapples and being antisocial on social media.

What do I want?

To be free.

How do I go about it?

Go about it? I am free. Break the heavy shakles in your mind called excuses and fear, leap across towards possibility, find your freedom through positivity.

But its hard to be positive sometimes. It’s much more appealing to sulk and drink and dance in the intoxication like I have all the time in the world and my sadness will sober up. M e d i t a t e. There is a reason for your feelings, let’s never deny them, they are very real and yet an illusion, Meditate …

“Meditation will bring you sensitivity, a great sense of belonging to the world. It is our world – the stars are ours, and we are not foreigners here. We are part of it, we are the heart of it.” ~ Osho Concentration by Brahma Kumaris


A purpose… even in retail

One thing Im learning very quickly, in fact a little too quickly in this job, is that people don’t value you when you work in retail. Like many jobs out there, you are no longer seen as a human past the interview stage but just a mere worker who is expected to have no emotion other than the ones they expect you to have, no ambition for anything other than the sometimes repetitive tasks they allocate to you and you’re expected to be totally sane after spending 5 days in a week doing the same thing for the majority of your day.


I understand the importance of living in your purpose otherwise you’ll be wasting days just dreaming about it, dreaming about all the things you’d prefer to be doing, wishing for Friday, then Friday comes and you half enjoy your weekend because all you really want to do is sleep because mentally and physically you’re tired, and the cycle repeats. I still don’t know exactly what I want to do in this life, and thats fine, I have a very vague idea and thats fine too– but I have to act and be aware to de-haze the vagueness so that my vision becomes clear. I’m happy because by me knowing that this job does not resonate with me, its made me realise more clearly what I do want out of life.

So I am grateful to experience what I passionately do not like, its pushing me closer to what is important to me in this life, not the money or material things but sanity– making a difference, interaction on a heartfelt level, creativity, that is sanity to me. To wake up early and have a long and eventful day not because I’m living in fear and I need the money to pay bills and survive. But because I want to and Im excited about life and I have a lot in me to offer, that is where I need to be.

And I’d like to believe I’m conscious about both the pros and cons of working this job, I could easily just quit, but its not time to do that yet, I don’t know when the time will be but I know there is more to experience, more to feel. Providing I don’t lose sight of the goal then I know I am doing great, I am living in my purpose. I’m interacting with great people and I’m being inspired in numerous ways. Its reinforced that I must always keep my head up and that I must always push myself- even if others don’t see my worth or capabilities, I must see the greater meaning and acknowledge a greater purpose.

(On that note I really need to get back to re-reading The Alchemist.)


Ever-changing self

What happens when your beliefs about who you are is challenged, completely altering who you thought you were, the only thing that was constant in this ever changing society.


Im dream hopping like inception, in one dream I’m this kind and loving individual who not everybody likes but is okay with that, I’m funny, I’m cool, I’m me. In the next dream, I’m mean, my opinions are overbearing I’m narcissistic and closed off. And this is happening at a swift pace. In my dreams I am always someone different, some so dissimilar from the previous dream.

The universe is challenging me. Shaking me awake to the reality that all these different personas that I have so heavily identified with is not me.

Have you woken up from a dream and ever been angry, sad or frustrated because you’ve carried the emotions through into your reality? Well now that I am awake, I am somewhat disappointed and taken aback, that is because I believed in these personas, I grew attached to the dreams, the illusions, the stories I created for myself, the stories of me I allowed others to create for me.

But Iv also woken up realising that like the matrix, I can do anything and be whoever I want to be consciously, no longer asleep. I cling to none of these personas because I am free, even from myself, the me I believe is me.

Dealing with disappointment

Disappointment: Shows you that you tried for something that you did not give in to apathy, that you still care.

We all have encountered some form of disappointment, but how do we deal with it? I dealt with my disappointment by staying in my room all day- thats how I thought I was tackling it. What I was actually doing was wasting a day.

Embracing this feeling is a moment to learn, disappointment most times show up to teach us something, its up to us to discover what that lesson is.

Sarah Lewis talks about embracing the near win and gives a practical outlook on embracing the disappointment that may come from a near win.

Meditate on this..

Healthy living: Super smoothies

As I stepped through the gates at Oxford street station my eyes lit up at the sight of a chic new and very well located “supernatural juice and smoothie bar”.

A couple of months ago Id been an avid user of my nutribullet, but as time passed the excitement died down. Something was telling me I really needed to start incorporating more fruits into my diet more regularly. So, to see this new and polished smoothie bar was a much-needed sign. I had to try one, I knew it would spark the desire to make one of my own and plus, i’d never actually tried a smoothie outside the ones I make myself.

I was spoilt for choice at the many options and beautifully mixed smoothie blends.

After a long deliberation, I chose the strawberry zing, which incorporated strawberry, lemon, ginger and honey…. This was the best smoothie iv ever had in my life -no exaggeration. The flavours worked wonderfully as I expected, the punchy blend had me bamboozled and delighted- yes bamboozled! It really was a beautiful concoction.

Before I got home I stopped off at my local Lidl supermarket and picked up a few fruits to rekindle my smoothie making days. I carefully selected what fruits would go in my smoothie, being cautious of both flavour and the benefits it would have for my body. I purchased 2 mangos, limes, strawberries and blueberries. After peeling and cutting I also added some chia seeds -for good measure and added a hint.. and I do mean a hint, of Spirulina (anybody who has tasted spirulina would know why lol)

And voila! My blueberry mirage -as iv decided to call it. It was sweet to the taste with just the right mix of everything, and thank goodness I couldn’t really taste the Spirulina, which made it all the more magical. So far Iv made this smoothie 3 times, its safe to say that this is my go to recipe, and its also made me wonder, healthy living doesn’t have to be boring or bland, Iv had the most fun being a vegan, who ever knew Id get all the sweetness in one smoothie blend without any sight of concentrated sugars. I certainly didn’t.

strawberry mirage copy

I definitely recommend my new custom-made smoothie blend. Below Iv listed all the benefits of the ingredents used. Particularly spirulina!- we have a love hate relationship, but it is something that I am starting to incorporate more into my diet, at least 3 times a week to be exact.
A few benefits of ingredients used in Blueberry Mirage:


Low in calories, but high in nutrients
Can help maintain brain function and improve memory
Reduce DNA damage, which may help protect against ageing and cancer
Protect cholesterol in the Blood from becoming damaged
Substances in them may help fight urinary tract infections


Prevents cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Clears the skin
Improves eye health
Alkalises the whole body


Loaded with vitamins
Help you detox
Contains antibiotic properties
lime could stop acne-causing bacteria.


Low in calories – high in fibre
Helps burn stored fat
Anti-aging properties
Promotes bone health
Boosts short-term memory

Super-rich in vitamins: Rich in vitamins A, B1, B2, B6, E, and K. Vitamin A is really important here because it has been specifically correlated with longer lifespan.
Protein powerhouse:  Spirulina has the highest concentration of protein of any known food.
Superhuman regeneration: The antioxidant phycocyanin found in Spirulina has the ability to trigger the production of stem cells. Stems cells literally have the ability to become any cells that your body needs.

Body fat & weight loss: By eating amazingly nutrient dense foods like Spirulina, you’re giving your body the raw materials it needs to keep you healthy and trigger the secretion of the satiety hormone leptin to helps keep your appetite in check.

Anti-viral, anti-cancer, and anti-aging effects.
Recently Iv found it interesting to research the benefits of the foods I put in my body, doing this motivates me to continue eating healthy.

Enjoy your juicing x